Ezekiel & Me...

I was at HBF (our children’s home) on Saturday. I spent most of my day with a 3.5 month old in my arms. His name is Ezekiel. He is the son of the director to the home.

I was the first visitor to hold Ezekiel when he was born (after hospital staff and his mother). He was just a few hours old. His skin was so light that they jokingly called him mzungu (for white person/European here). It was a joke that he could totally pass for my son…half white/half Kenyan. I was definitely willing at that moment to take him home with me.

Three and a half months later and he’s changed to a beautiful shade of brown with these beautiful big brown eyes. He can no longer be mistaken for an mzungu. His mother says that Ezekiel and I have a special bond. She says he knows me well. She calls me his second mother. When he’s fussy, I take him and unless he’s hungry, I can calm him down. I sing to him, I pat his bottom, I rock him, I cuddle to him, I kiss him. On Saturday, I had him smiling and talking up a storm (well more like baby gurgling sounds but I’ll take what I can get). I engaged in eye contact and baby gurgling conversation with him. Every time he smiled that toothless, gum-filled smile, it made me smile more.

The children were laughing at my interaction with Ezekiel, seeing an adult pretend to understand the language of a 3.5 month old. But the more I showed my interest in what he was moving on about or gurgling about, the more he would smile, kick his feet and gurgle.

It’s an amazing thing to see; to see the smile of a baby, of a child.

It’s moments like this when I ache to be a mom; to be able to hold a child of my own. I can’t wait for morning sickness (yes seriously!), baby kicks, back pains, discomfort, hours of labor…all for the life of a child. To me, the nine months is worth it all. To see my husband, hold his baby for the first time…to see him have gurgling conversations with our baby. On Saturday as I held Ezekiel, I ached for all of that even more.

I remember having a conversation with a family member, before I knew Kenya was were I was going to be. We were talking about wanting children some day and she said to me, “Meredith, I know you will have children some day. They may or may not be yours in flesh but you will forever be surrounded by children and you will be called Mom.” Four years later, I was in Kenya, surrounded by children and many called me, and still call me, Mom.

Children mean so much to me. I wouldn’t be here if they didn’t. To see the transformation of a malnourished, sad being to a healthy, happy child is amazing and so wonderful to be a part of. It’s amazing to see what God does in these children.

There are over 2 million orphans in Kenya alone. I wish my arms were long enough to hug them all, but since they aren’t, I’ll hug as many of them, individually, whenever I can. I may not be a “mom” yet, but I have the love in me…why not give it out to the children who need it.