Kenya 2009 - Part 6

Not My Strength

I woke up this morning to Sean saying, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” We have adapted a great routine of getting up early (between 5:30-6:00) in the morning to spend time in the Word together and pray together. It’s a great way to start the day.

We laid in bed for a few minutes and I told Sean the dream that I had just had. Here it is (in italics):

I was walking along a big beautiful river. The current was fairly strong on it. There was the path that I was walking along one side of the river, with trees overhanging the path. The other side of the river too, was covered in trees. There were flower bushes with so many different types of flowers…the colors of the flowers, the scent of the flowers, the songs of the birds..all of it was so peaceful, fresh.

I looked up to see this bird circling a spot in the river…it was searching for that perfect section for fish. And then finally it dove, a straight dive for the water. Under it went, for what seemed like forever. I jumped as it burst through from under the water in to the air, with a fish in its beak.

I loved it. I was fascinated by it. I wanted to be like this bird. So I took of my sandals and with my clothes on, I dove in to the water. It was cool, so refreshing. The current was strong, stronger than I thought. But for a moment, I didn’t worry. I looked above my head and there again was the bird, circling the water, finding its food. And then it dove. Only a few feet from where I was. Again, it seemed like forever that the bird was under water and then I jumped. The bird bursted out of the water, splashing me. It was that close to me. I laughed out loud in complete delight. And again two more times, the bird dove and bursted out of the water. And each time, I laughed out loud.

But then I realized how strong the current really was and how far it had dragged me downstream. I began to get worried. I started to swim with all my might to the edge of the river, to grab a hold of something, anything to get out of the water.

And then Sean said, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” It was only a dream.

After I told Sean the dream, we laid there for a moment in silence. I was replaying the dream over and over again. And then it brought me back to a day in late September or early October of 2005, when I was here in Kenya.

A family member of a friend was going through some extremely difficult times. The family member, who was in Canada, was battling with some addictions. So we as a group of friends, in Kenya, gathered around one morning and began to pray for this guy. As we were praying and sharing Bible verses of God’s promises, I was given a vision of this guy. The vision was this (the guy’s name has been changed):

I saw Ben in a big rushing river. He was being banged around by the waves and rush of the current. He was pulled under water, smacked against rocks. But every time Ben managed to come up for air, there was always a strong tree branch extending over the river. Ben would try to grab the branch but he would miss it or give up trying to reach for it. He would then be dragged back under the water and again smacked against the rocks.

Ben became so exhausted; he was broken and bruised, the current and waves were just too strong for him. He was sucked under the water again and when he finally came up; there was another tree branch in front of him and he reached, reached. The branch bent down just a little bit more so that Ben could grab it…and the branch pulled him out of the deadly water.

As I shared the vision with the others in the room, we saw it clearly. The addictions, the sadness, the helplessness was drowning Ben, breaking him, bruising him and God was giving out His hand (the branch) saying, “I will rescue you.”

I shared this with Sean this morning…and as I was telling Sean about the vision I had in 2005, God said to me:

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”

I’m not battling addictions or depressions so don’t be alarmed on that. But what I do battle is the feeling that I can’t be the complete woman that God intended for me to be, that I can’t save every malnourished child in this country, that I can’t wipe out the AIDs that has entered the bodies of so many people, including some of our very own children.

And so I read Philippians 4…as I do in times like this. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (vs.6-7). I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. For I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. (vs. 11-13)

Again…

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”