Thursday, July 23, 2009

Kenya 2009 - Part 8

Not Saying Goodbye, Rather “See you in a little while”

I remember when my grandmother died on February 3rd, 1998. I remember the pain that ripped through my heart. I remember going to the funeral home and seeing her lifeless body there. I remember that no one could console me. I was devastated with her death; the one woman who knew me better than anyone, whom I had a bond with so strong…I couldn’t imagine her not being a part of my life. I couldn’t imagine her not being in her rocking chair ever again; I couldn’t imagine another Christmas without her. A part of me changed that day…a part of me went missing.

On Tuesday, July 14th, in the afternoon, we got the devastating news that our sweet nine year old Veronica passed away. She was HIV positive and had contracted chicken pox. The chicken pox were just too strong for her weak immune system.

As I was given the news of Veronica’s death, the same pain ripped through my heart as it did when my grandmother died. As I attended the funeral of Veronica, seeing her lifeless body with her beautiful innocent face, looking as if she were only sleeping, the only thing that could console the unbelievable ache that I was feeling, was consoling one of our other children.

Veronica was nine; my grandmother was in her sixties. My grandmother experienced most of her life; she got married, had children and even knew most of her grandchildren. Veronica will never know of marriage; she will never hold her own child; she will never have grandchildren.

But what both Veronica and my grandmother do know is the love of Christ. They know His face; they know His love.

We are left here on this earth, in sadness, trying to answer the questions, trying to mend our broken hearts, trying to not miss Veronica and the beautiful, spunky and loving spirit she brought in to our lives.

The only thing that I can hold on to is the picture of Veronica, healthy of any disease and pain, dancing around, singing loudly….perhaps with my grandmother….hanging out with Jesus.

I won’t say goodbye to Veronica, instead I say, “See you in a little while!” And then we can dance and sing and hang out with Jesus, together.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

beautiful image of them dancing in heaven with Jesus, meredith. May Jesus draw you, Sean, Daniel & TI, the other kids close to Him in your pain. Keeping you in our prayers!!

homeschoolmom said...

Losing a loved one is never easy. It is those of us left behind that feel the pain when their pain is over. Sending my deepest sympathies your way.