Kenya 2009 - Part 10

Martin And A Football

Martin, our five year old (or even six), who has the body of a three year old, in one day had HIV, pneumonia, chicken pox, meningitis and tuberculosis running through him. And he is still alive. This in itself is a complete gift from God.

Today, after six days in the hospital, Martin was discharged. He still has a ways to go but he looks 110% better than what he did when he was going in to the hospital.

He is staying with us for a few days. Since we are only a few minutes from the hospital, if there are any emergencies that come up in the next day or two, we are only a short ride away back to the hospital. And of course, we felt that it would be best for him to stay with us to get some complete spoiling of love and attention. :-)

This afternoon, Daniel was standing by the veranda door, looking outside. He called my name and told me to come and look. [Uncle] Sean had taken Martin outside to play. There was Martin, whom was on way to death, kicking around a football with Sean…a huge smile on his face the whole time. And as Daniel said, “This is why we are here!”

Thank you everyone for your prayers, for your encouraging words and your support. It has truly meant a lot to us.

Much love!!

xoxoxo

Martin....hanging out in the grass.

Martin and his football...

Getting the well deserved and needed rest...

Kenya 2009 - Part 9

Our Little Strong Martin

Wow!!! What a past few days this has been.

As you all know due to the prayer request and blog update that our little weak Martin was admitted in to the hospital on Thursday. At the time of this news, I was with the women from the PA team at our Neema girl’s house. We came together and prayed for Martin.

On Thursday evening, Nicole and I went to the hospital for a few hours, laying our hands on Martin, praying for healing. While Nicole and I were at the hospital, the rest of the team stayed back and prayed for him.

On Friday afternoon, we heard that his condition had not changed. Most of the team was outside in the yard, getting ready to play football (aka soccer for you North Americans) and before the game started, they got down in the grass, on their knees and prayed for Martin. I put in the Hillsong CD, This Is Our God, and played the song “Healer” a few times, praying and claiming the words the song said for Martin.

Over the past few days, our friends and family back in North America have stepped up in prayer over Martin as well.

And this is the text message we got from Anne, just an hour ago…

“Praise the Lord! He can talk and walk and he has gained appetite. I am excited.”

Yes! Praise be to the Lord! For He has heard our prayers and has answered them. He is our Healer, our Comforter and that has been so incredibly evident this past week.

We continue to pray for Martin; for complete health.

We also want to thank EVERYONE for your support and prayers. For when two or more are gathered in His name, there He is.

We love you all!

Meredith

Healer – Hillsong

You hold my every moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And HEAL ALL MY DISEASE

I trust in You

I trust in You

I believe that You’re my Healer

I believe that You are all I need

I believe that You’re my Portion

I believe that You’re more than enough for me

Jesus, You’re ALL I NEED

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

Kenya 2009 - Part 8

Not Saying Goodbye, Rather “See you in a little while”

I remember when my grandmother died on February 3^rd, 1998. I remember the pain that ripped through my heart. I remember going to the funeral home and seeing her lifeless body there. I remember that no one could console me. I was devastated with her death; the one woman who knew me better than anyone, whom I had a bond with so strong…I couldn’t imagine her not being a part of my life. I couldn’t imagine her not being in her rocking chair ever again; I couldn’t imagine another Christmas without her. A part of me changed that day…a part of me went missing.

On Tuesday, July 14^th, in the afternoon, we got the devastating news that our sweet nine year old Veronica passed away. She was HIV positive and had contracted chicken pox. The chicken pox were just too strong for her weak immune system.

As I was given the news of Veronica’s death, the same pain ripped through my heart as it did when my grandmother died. As I attended the funeral of Veronica, seeing her lifeless body with her beautiful innocent face, looking as if she were only sleeping, the only thing that could console the unbelievable ache that I was feeling, was consoling one of our other children.

Veronica was nine; my grandmother was in her sixties. My grandmother experienced most of her life; she got married, had children and even knew most of her grandchildren. Veronica will never know of marriage; she will never hold her own child; she will never have grandchildren.

But what both Veronica and my grandmother do know is the love of Christ. They know His face; they know His love.

We are left here on this earth, in sadness, trying to answer the questions, trying to mend our broken hearts, trying to not miss Veronica and the beautiful, spunky and loving spirit she brought in to our lives.

The only thing that I can hold on to is the picture of Veronica, healthy of any disease and pain, dancing around, singing loudly….perhaps with my grandmother….hanging out with Jesus.

I won’t say goodbye to Veronica, instead I say, “See you in a little while!” And then we can dance and sing and hang out with Jesus, together.

Kenya 2009 - Part 7

Is Paul Right?

A few girls came by to visit us the other night. One of the girls had been in Kenya in 2007 so she knew Daniel and me from back then and had wanted to visit with us.

Anyway, the 3 girls, ages 17, 19 and 21, and I went in to our sitting room and they started asking me about married life, relationship questions, God questions, etc. and I found as we talked, I was getting energized. It could have been the fact that I was having really nice and needed female to female conversation with these girls but when we started talking about incorporating God in to our relations, etc, it was more than just that.

After they had left, Sean, Daniel and I were having dinner together and they both commented that they could see a spark in me when I was talking to those girls. Any question that were asked of me, I didn’t laugh at the silliness of it or rebuke it, but honestly listened and answered appropriately, I even shared with the girls, the struggles of being overly independent in today’s world as a woman and how it has been a bit of an issue for Sean and I; because at times he wants to serve me as his wife and I won’t let him…because I can “do it myself.” I gave them food for thought; I made myself vulnerable and real to them and that allowed them to feel that they could do the same with me and they too shared things with me and it was great! I LOVED it!

And why did I love it? Because I think it stems to the role that women are to carry out - as stated to Titus by Paul in the Bible. It says how the older women are to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to too much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2: 3-5)

I read a book given to me last year by a friend, in preparation for getting married. The book is called, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessigner. It’s surprising how many people know her and I had never heard of her until this book. Dr. Laura is a very out-spoken person and I have found that people either hate her or love her. I, after reading this book, LOVE her.

In her book, she talks about how we as women have emasculated our men over the years. The major cause: we’ve become so independent that we tell our boyfriends, our husbands, our lovers that in reality, we don’t really need them. So why are they there? To give us children? To fit the status of being married? To snarl at when we’re pms’ing? To fill our physical desires?

Dr. Laura believes “it’s a result of the women’s movement, with its condemnation of just about everything male as evil, stupid, and oppressive, and the denigration of female and male roles in families, as a well as the loss of family functioning as a result of divorce, day care, dual careers, etc….The result is women get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men.”

Men are simple creatures, who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration and approval from a woman, it makes them vulnerable to their woman’s moods, desires, tantrums, criticism, disappointments, dissatisfactions, angers and rejections. Women need to better appreciate the magnitude of their power and influence over men, and not misuse or abuse it.”

It’s been interesting to have been single for so long and have married friends around me over the years. I have been able to sit back and watch how the couples interact and the on-going joke of “who wears the pants in the family!”

One of the many things that I have noticed to be common in many of the marriages is the “it’s my way or the highway” mentality that women get. Here’s a common scenario:

It’s Saturday morning and the wife complains that the house is dirty and it needs to be cleaned. She mumbles how she always has to clean the house by herself, etc. The husband asks if he can help, wanting to remove some of the burden off his wife (and not deal with her crabbiness or mumbling about it for the rest of the weekend). The wife asks him to help by vacuum the house, or clean the kitchen or whatever room. So the husband goes and does it. A little while later, the wife comes along and says things like, “You missed a spot,” or “It’s not clean enough,” or etc. Instead of thanking him for helping, we say, “It’s not good enough!” or “Why did you do it THAT way?” Do you think the next time you want him to help you clean something; he’s going to want to do it?

Dr. Laura says: “Wives need to remind themselves that when their husbands do something differently from how they would do it themselves; it does not constitute a breach of sanity or a display of contempt. It is merely a DIFFERENT way to do something.” So look at it that way.

Also: “In the real world of humans, women have a unique urge toward bonding and nesting and nurturing. Men have a unique urge toward protecting, providing and conquering….Men are doers; simple, straight-line types. The reason they have a tendency to rescue damsels in distress is because of their need to be admired for their chivalry.”

So why don’t we let them? Why don’t we let them be the man that God created them to be? We women watch the chick flicks and saw, “Awweeeee…” when the guy says something beautiful and romantic to the girl. We watched the Disney films when we were younger and wanted a Prince Charming to slay the dragon and gave us such a kiss that it would wake us up from a coma.

We wanted our heroes so why don’t we let them be our heroes?

Last week, Sean and Daniel were outside having some guy time and I was in the house, getting ready for bed. I pulled the “decorative pillows” (some of you ladies know what I mean!) off the bed, when I saw a gecko on MY pillow. It scared me at first and so I let out a scream. The scream of a woman “awoke” Sean and Daniel.

Now if I had been alone that night, I probably would’ve dealt with it myself (as I did in 2007 with a giant rat in my bedroom with the help of one of rat-phobic female intern) but the fact that I had Sean, my husband, who I know would love to “protect” me from the evil gecko, I text messaged Sean to come and get this gecko for me. And when he got it out of the bedroom, I thanked him for getting rid of it for me. And it made him happy to know that I needed him.

Women aren’t weak, that’s not what I’m saying. But what I am saying is that we need to realize that men were created different than us and their uniqueness, their needs, their desires should be just as important and in the forefront as our own.

It’s difficult wanting to be the wife that I am supposed to be and not the wife/woman that the world has taken in and accepted. I don’t want to be the head of the household. I want to submit to my husband.

Paul is writing to the church, in Ephesians 5. You know, the famous and often disputed section on “wives and husbands” and how it talks about wives submitting to their husbands? Many women loathe the word submit, thinking it means that they become the doormat for their husbands. That’s not what it means at all. Sometimes we forget what the rest of the section says.

Here’s the husband’s responsibility: “Husbands, love your wives, just as CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkly or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

Wow….what a responsibility! Our husbands are told to love us like Christ loved the church. Christ died for us, He sacrificed himself for us. And that is what a husband is to do for his wife…to love her unconditionally, as Christ loves us. Where do the husbands even begin to love like that?

If we know Christ and love Christ…we submit and surrender ourselves to Him. If we know our husbands well and their relationships with God and know how much our husbands are desiring to be like Christ…then submitting, surrendering ourselves to our husbands should be just as understandable and desirable to do.

Yeah, I know I’m not an expert at the marriage (and children) advice (only being married for 4 months and not having any children yet) but going back to the beginning of my story…helping these young women (and hopefully other young women in the future), by sharing my experiences in my younger years, in mine and Sean’s engagement time and in to the few months of marriage, revived me. Sharing with them that although Sean and I don’t have any major issues, there were still minor struggles during the engagement and early marriage due to my way of thinking on things. It was wonderful…doing what we women are really designed to do, submitting to our husbands and mentoring/training the younger women…I felt fulfilled and refreshed after doing it.

So what’s the answer to my blog question: Is Paul Right???? Hmmm…..imagine that? Paul, through his obedience and relationship with God, actually knew what he was talking about.

Kenya 2009 - Part 6

Not My Strength

I woke up this morning to Sean saying, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” We have adapted a great routine of getting up early (between 5:30-6:00) in the morning to spend time in the Word together and pray together. It’s a great way to start the day.

We laid in bed for a few minutes and I told Sean the dream that I had just had. Here it is (in italics):

I was walking along a big beautiful river. The current was fairly strong on it. There was the path that I was walking along one side of the river, with trees overhanging the path. The other side of the river too, was covered in trees. There were flower bushes with so many different types of flowers…the colors of the flowers, the scent of the flowers, the songs of the birds..all of it was so peaceful, fresh.

I looked up to see this bird circling a spot in the river…it was searching for that perfect section for fish. And then finally it dove, a straight dive for the water. Under it went, for what seemed like forever. I jumped as it burst through from under the water in to the air, with a fish in its beak.

I loved it. I was fascinated by it. I wanted to be like this bird. So I took of my sandals and with my clothes on, I dove in to the water. It was cool, so refreshing. The current was strong, stronger than I thought. But for a moment, I didn’t worry. I looked above my head and there again was the bird, circling the water, finding its food. And then it dove. Only a few feet from where I was. Again, it seemed like forever that the bird was under water and then I jumped. The bird bursted out of the water, splashing me. It was that close to me. I laughed out loud in complete delight. And again two more times, the bird dove and bursted out of the water. And each time, I laughed out loud.

But then I realized how strong the current really was and how far it had dragged me downstream. I began to get worried. I started to swim with all my might to the edge of the river, to grab a hold of something, anything to get out of the water.

And then Sean said, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” It was only a dream.

After I told Sean the dream, we laid there for a moment in silence. I was replaying the dream over and over again. And then it brought me back to a day in late September or early October of 2005, when I was here in Kenya.

A family member of a friend was going through some extremely difficult times. The family member, who was in Canada, was battling with some addictions. So we as a group of friends, in Kenya, gathered around one morning and began to pray for this guy. As we were praying and sharing Bible verses of God’s promises, I was given a vision of this guy. The vision was this (the guy’s name has been changed):

I saw Ben in a big rushing river. He was being banged around by the waves and rush of the current. He was pulled under water, smacked against rocks. But every time Ben managed to come up for air, there was always a strong tree branch extending over the river. Ben would try to grab the branch but he would miss it or give up trying to reach for it. He would then be dragged back under the water and again smacked against the rocks.

Ben became so exhausted; he was broken and bruised, the current and waves were just too strong for him. He was sucked under the water again and when he finally came up; there was another tree branch in front of him and he reached, reached. The branch bent down just a little bit more so that Ben could grab it…and the branch pulled him out of the deadly water.

As I shared the vision with the others in the room, we saw it clearly. The addictions, the sadness, the helplessness was drowning Ben, breaking him, bruising him and God was giving out His hand (the branch) saying, “I will rescue you.”

I shared this with Sean this morning…and as I was telling Sean about the vision I had in 2005, God said to me:

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”

I’m not battling addictions or depressions so don’t be alarmed on that. But what I do battle is the feeling that I can’t be the complete woman that God intended for me to be, that I can’t save every malnourished child in this country, that I can’t wipe out the AIDs that has entered the bodies of so many people, including some of our very own children.

And so I read Philippians 4…as I do in times like this. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (vs.6-7). I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. For I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. (vs. 11-13)

Again…

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”

Kenya 2009 - Part 5

It’s All So Surface…


I was in a meeting today with a Kenyan woman from our area. She had called to meet with me over some issues pertaining to some children she knows.

After we got the business stuff discussed and dealt with, I felt myself looking at her, on a deeper level. I found myself saying, with all sincerity and compassion, “You know, if you ever want to get together for tea and just talk, share things, I would love to do that.” And in that moment her body language changed; her shoulders sank down, she clasped my hands and smiled this beautiful smile. She said, “You don’t know how much that means for me to hear that. It’s difficult being a pastor’s wife, you know.”

Although I’m not a pastor’s wife, I knew what she meant…having to live up to certain expectations, being under a telescope by the congregation and people of the town. She explained that although she loves helping and encouraging others, very rarely does she get to let out her frustrations, her hurts, her pains and her struggles because so often people are sharing theirs with her. And should she want to share, how quickly could it be spread among, first the congregation and second around the town?

And so I offered my ear, my confidentiality, my friendship to her….and she was incredibly thankful.

Also, during this meeting time, I noticed a couple with a small child sitting at the table beside us. At first, I noticed the child, a little girl about eight or nine months old but as I looked more closely at the couple, I noticed the complete separation of the two. They didn’t speak to one other. The husband was on the phone talking and when he wasn’t on the phone, he was holding his daughter, talking to her. The wife sat there, like a piece of furniture. Neither one of them engaged the other in conversation.

It saddened me because this is how friendship has become…everywhere. We’ve become all surface in our relationships and friendships today. We lack the foundation, the communication, the honesty that comes with them.

I looked up on the internet for a definition of friendship; there were so many but this one, this one I really liked:

Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.
Source: A Life for a Life

When the pastor’s wife told me that she lacks the honest friendships due to fear that her “issues” will arise in the congregation, I understood her fear. Things like gossip, judgment, competition and jealousy have destroyed friendships. We cannot trust our “closest” friends because we fear that 1) they will tell others or 2) they will judge us for our issues.

We tend to not want to grow into friendships with others because we are jealous of what they have and therefore bitterness enters our hearts. Or we decide it’s better to compete against them, rather than run along side them.

This is what has continually broken down the body of Christ. The people we should be able to trust the most are the ones that we end up trusting the least. Jesus said, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13). And what have we done – the opposite. Rather than laying down our lives for our friends, we’ve pushed our friends in front of the moving vehicle, allowing them to become the targets. The targets of gossip, judgment, competition and jealousy.

I’ve seen the ramifications of the “Singles Club”, the “Dating Club”, the “Married Club”, the “Married with Children Club”. And everyone who doesn’t fit whatever category at whatever time in their life is left out. Friendship isn’t a club, it’s a relationship. And unfortunately for those “clubs”, they could be missing out on some amazing people to have a relationship with. And the damage it does to the ones being “left out”…the mistrust, the insecurities, the loneliness…and the destruction of The Body.

Then there are the people that call everyone in their life, their best friend and it usually turns out that “You’re everybody’s best friend but nobody’s real friend.” It’s just a popularity contest; we want everyone to like us, to be the welcome committee, to be party central but at the end of it all, there’s no quality, only quantity. And that is where the realness of who we could be to each other becomes non-existent.

I’m tired of surface friendships. I miss the intimate friendships; the ones that you can be who you are, in seriousness and silliness and know that not a moment of gossip or judgment will enter. This can be a lonely world and at times a girl needs girlfriends and the guy needs male-bonding time. And wouldn’t it be a better place if we could remove the quantity and stick to the quality.

Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of the other….it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each others feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking to get. [They] are ones who accept the good as well as the bad qualities of his friend also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is the distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other…A true friend does not consist of a huge number of friends you keep but it is valued by its worth and capability to hold you and stand by you in all phases of life.
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Definition-of-Friendship---A-Few-Facts&id=1267049

Kenya 2009 - Part 4

It Strikes Again

As per my previous post, we have been celebrating and continually praying for Lina’s results of HIV to remain negative.

On Tuesday, we found out that one of our other children at our children’s home, is HIV positive…something we never even thought or considered to be a possibility.

A few weeks ago, we noticed that, Veronica had been losing weight and not feeling well. Last Saturday, she showed some sores that she had on her body. It had been alarming all of us, her weight loss and now the sores on her body. So on Tuesday, the home manager took Veronica to the district hospital and when she was being examined, they decided to give her an HIV test…which came out positive.

The home manager brought Veronica (along with Lina and Susan) over to our house after the visit to the hospital and told us the news. Daniel, Sean and I just looked around at each other – all of us thinking the same thing and all of us fighting to hold back the tears.

I called Veronica over, put her on my lap and held her. I didn’t want to let her go. There in the other room was Lina, with so much energy and laughter, almost like she feels the HIV is gone and here on my lap is Veronica, exhausted, sad and sick.

So in the moments of excitement and anticipation for Lina, there are moments of heartbreak and sadness for Veronica.

So we pray! We pray for the same for Veronica that we are praying for Lina. That’s all we can do for now: cover Veronica with not only hugs, kisses and love but with prayer too.